Love.

So long since my last post hahaha so shall do up a short one tonight 🙂 days have been real tiring i think im almost on the verge of breaking down! Just feel so tired i have trouble thinking straight. So guilty that sometimes i get moodswings and get easily irritated, and end up making my dear girl feel my wrath :/ its just so hard to control sometimes i dont wanna be irritated but idk why it just happens sigh. Just want a levels to end real soonnnn! Real glad that bb doesnt really blame me when i get irritated from moodswings!!! But oh well that’s still a shitty thing that i do!
Many a time i just feel that im not good enough for bb, somehow i just feel im not doing enough or not being good enough as a bf! Dk whether its the case but gah idk what to think too! How i wish life could just be worry free and i could spend all my time loving this girl!!!! Stupid studies just saps so much time away and causes me to be so tired :/ but okay bb is still the center of my world so i’ll still make time for her! Cuz i know how much it means to have someone supporting u all the way! Jc is tiring.
Up next is a 5 days hol!!! Really hope to catch up with wtv work i have, and spend some quality time with bb too! Recently all our meetups seem to revolve around studies, quite bad ah no time to really just let loose and relax!!! :/ but okay that time will come i guess 🙂 hahaha this post seems so negative idk why too but ohwell!
Guess life will be better after A levels end hahah really excited to plan and execute my plans for bb bday and our 2nd year! Been so busy lately i dont have that much energy to really plan for sth real nice for bb! Just looking forward to so much stuff but studies is in the way now! Be goneeee A levels, i want my life back!!!!
Having said all of that, im still so glad that i’ve got bb thru this journey. Imagine life without her, that would be so boring i bet i wouldnt see what the purpose of life is abt. She gives me sth to look forward to, she makes me feel that i have someone who cares for me, she gives me a chance to love her and just do all i can for her. Just love the feeling of being in love and being in a rs. Ppl may say that relationships are restricting, cuz of all the commitment and stuff, but i kinda love it. Love doing everything and making this girl all thats impt to me cuz when i see her smile its just so heartwarming. Friendships and all may be nice too, but nth beats a rs cuz this is where i can really be myself and not fear judgement. A girlfriend is sorta like a family member whom i can choose i guess, so its like so awesome cuz i have a choice as to who i should love, unlike family where i have no choice but to be nice to whoever my family members are. Not saying my family is that bad but i just dont feel that deep connection here. Well im just glad bb entered my life 🙂
Pretty much all thats been on my mind i guess, life’s just so tough i feel like giving up and all thats keeping me going now is really bb.

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