Monthly Archives: January 2013

My happy day. :)

So today was a real happy day for me and bb πŸ™‚ our day started off rather plainly with the talking on whatsapp, the emoji talking, and followed by meeting at somerset mrt. Proceeded to find bb’s shoes and we walked around cine. Saw nice phone casings and walked around the shoe shops πŸ™‚ rather tiring though with all the running around. Then it was lunch at pastamania. Meatball is crappppp omggg! Marinara was not bad though πŸ™‚ then bb went back to tangs supposedly to meet jessica, but ended up waiting for nth! Bb dont angry kkk i give u ur stickies kkk πŸ˜‰ so i went to buy my couple half zip jacket!!! πŸ˜‰

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Our couple item again hehe πŸ˜‰ nice right! πŸ˜‰ so after that i went to meet bb to go back tcc! Retarded agent hahahah! Then it was shopping for her shoesss haha omg the salesperson was so much nicer than the one at cine lah hahaha! SO after one whole day of running around, bb finally got her shoes. Though not the cherry pink, but stil nice red yea? πŸ˜‰ bus ride was the funniest hahah! And it was really like back to the happy times!!! πŸ˜‰ the retarded cuddling, kissing and nose-touching hahahah! Couple time! πŸ˜‰ oh and bb’s back is jialatttt tuobei omg 😦 hopefully my massage made her back feel abit better :/ if me massaging helps her back, i dont mind massaging everytime i see her!!! Then our day ended with me sending bb off and giving her a hug and a kiss. Perfect day

I realised i am super lousy at expressing my thoughts and feelings now but wtv!!! πŸ™‚ all i want bb to know is that i am back, and happy times like today will be coming for the rest of our days tgt πŸ™‚ may our love go on and on forever πŸ™‚

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You and me, forever love.

14th month :)

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Happy 14th month bb!!! πŸ™‚ this post is hereby dedicated to YOU, my beautiful gf πŸ˜‰

Apologies come first before anything else, so i am sorry for the unhappiness i’ve given to u for the past few months. I really have learnt from those times and i WILL succeed in changing, trust me. πŸ™‚

Alright, so i recall the time when we first got tgt. Times were sweet, love was easy and we were happier than ever before in our lives πŸ™‚ those were the best times i swear. I used to be able to make u happy so easily, and we just shared so many happy experiences tgt…
Then came the sad times. It was like: everything came at once when we started knowing more abt each other. I got too protective, i became too sweet, i got too jealous. And all this came crashing down on u when all the emotions in me got unleashed. Damn, i do regret all of that. Those unhappy experiences forced us to become less close, though we survived it all, negativity developed…
I set my mind to change, and to give u happiness like how i could, but yea it really was tough, and every failed attempt to change or failed attempt to do sth for u caused me to become more bitter. The crappy and retarded jiajie was replaced with a worrywart, an irritating person and someone hard to communicate with. The person i became made ur urge to talk to me disappear, and made the dates unenjoyable.
But trust me, i have seen the change in myself recently and i really do think if i continue being like that, it’ll only cause us to go kaboom one day. So i analysed the situation. Unhappiness stemmed from me forcing u to tell me abt ur feelings at first, then it came from me getting jealous and feeling uncomfortable, plus the times of overprotectiveness.
For these root causes, we have come up with solutions before, and i know i will do my best to fulfill the solutions, just like how u’ve agreed to my term of meeting him only once per year. Emotions to be kept in check, understanding u to be my priority as much as possible.

I have given it much thought, and i know i must be the person i was before, only then will everything fall back into place and only then can i give u happiness. Not that i will not be learning from my mistakes, but i will be learning from all the mistakes i’ve made, and also be changing myself to become the jiajie i once was. Give me time, i will do it for your sake.

Actions speak louder than words. I know this v clearly and so i will do all i can to prove it all to u. I am really v happy that today ended so happily, cuz today has given me hope and motivation, that happiness will be ours if we dont stop trying. We have succeeded in finding our happiness tgt today, and we WILL do it many more times again in future and be the happy couple we were πŸ™‚ i love you forever bb, forever and always.

Let’s throw everything aside and love like never before.

Late night post.

Hmmm i guess this shall be a ranting post.

Sudden realization that things have actually changed so much since the start of our rs.

At the start, we couldnt wait to go on our monthly dates, we always craved to talk to each other more and spend more time tgt. But now our dates arent really that much to look forward to anymore and talking less has become sorta like sth we’ve gotten used to.

Though i also have to say at the start, we didnt trust each other as much and didnt understand each other well enough and we didnt know how to quite handle our rs. Now we understand each other and how our rs works, and though probs do come, we roughly know how we shd treat the probs and overcome obstacles tgt.

I do understand that the principle that “u gain some, u lose some” applies here, cuz we’ve lost that sense of anticipation but we’ve gained lots of valuable experiences and lots of love too. I like it very much that we are so comfortable in our rs now, and that we can actually see our future(sort of), and i know that our love for each other is true from how we’ve managed to make each other be happiest or saddest, and from how much we actually value each other. I like it that we’ve grown so much tgt and our rs is actually v stable (compared to other ppl’s) cuz many couples around us have only gotten tgt either cuz of how they are attracted to each others’ appearance or just in a moment of excitement. Those couples have always not been able to survive tgt once an obstacle comes their way. I know what we have here is true, and it wont crumble so easily cuz we really love and our rs is really dependent on the love we have for each other, and it has been growing non stop cuz this love is true. We’ve really gone thru ALOTTT tgt and every setback has proven to us that we are actually serious abt our rs.

But yea i do miss the times when we still were so excited abt our dates and stuff like that lor. Okay i know that things have changed to become like now cuz after being tgt for so long, its unavoidable that the daily routine and monthly movie-lunch dates become ummm boring. Its not that we dont love each other as much, but its just that we understand each other so well till the point that we can actually know what is to happen so the sense of anticipation is gone. Cant blame anything or anyone cuz i guess that this is normal for every rs, the rs gets stronger but the sense of excitement at the start is gone. Okay not totally gone but yea its not as strong as before.

Maybe its also cuz of the fact that u’ve seen my worst side in our rs, but okay i hope that it isnt sth u are vvv bothered abt, cuz i’ve ardy explained why my bad side comes about and u know its all cuz i either care too much or love too much. Its normal for every couple to see that the other half is flawed and see the worst side of the other half, this is actually a symbol of how strong our rs is cuz u wouldnt be able to see my worst side if i didnt trust and love u enough to show it to u. U wouldnt be able to see the bad side of any of ur normal or good friends cuz the interaction with them is so much less than the interaction with me so friends always appear to be totally nice (except for some friends). But yea i guess this is sth that we shd know lor cuz seeing each other’s bad side only means that we are THAT close, closer than a friend at least, cuz sth to back this fact up will be the fact that we always see the bad sides of our family members but we never do see the bad sides of our friends. When u know someone so well and u are so close to a person, then u will be able to see his/her bad sides, and this is sth we only normally see in family members or RARELY in friends. But alright, for the sake of love, i will change.

Okay but all in all, i guess i just secretly hope that though that sense of anticipation may be gone cuz of the above 2 reasons, we can still see that its only cuz our rs has grown so strong, and that we will continue cherishing each other and not mistake this loss of anticipation to be cuz we dont love each other as much or what lor. It really is cuz we have come so far and we love each other so much more than before.

Cherishing our rs forever. Always gonna find ways to regain that feeling of anticipation for both of us, never gonna give up.

So scared that one day i wont do enough for uuuu 😦 hopefully bb doesnt have to remind me one dayyyy!!!

Reminder to myself with this quote i thought of:
Love is never a part time job; either give it your time and effort always, or be replaced by someone else who can do your job.



Fatpig bear this is mind alwaysss don’t ever neglect bb!!!

Shopping day :D

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Happy day today!!!! πŸ˜‰ met bb at abt 3.30 to shop for my cny clothes at pp hahah! πŸ˜‰ really thankful to have bb to pei me to shop or i would not have shopped until dk when hahaha! Thanks bb for peiing me to cotton on, fox, uniqlo then cotton on again!!! πŸ˜€ really happy that i got to get my clothes and bb pei-ed me though she was tired!!! πŸ˜‰ then after that it was journey home!!! Raining omggg hahahah! And we actually missed our stop cuz we were playing with insta HAHAHA. Shared umbrella with bb hahah okay wet day but romantic ah ^^ then finally walked to the place where i always send bb to and ended our day with a kiss in the rain HAHAHAH hao lang man! πŸ˜€ tired now but okay happyday πŸ˜‰ how i wish i can spend my everyday going out and spending time with bb

Iloveyou always bb

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why do u think this way? why cant u see what im doing? its not that i dont understand u, in fact, i really understand how u feel. for Os results as well as for the candy matter. i understand that for Os results, u feel inferior cuz everyone is like getting below 13 and u cant beat them then when comparing u feel that u are lousier than them. u feel that u put in effort for ur Os, and u thought it would turn out good, but in the end u got disappointed. u feel unworthy, u feel that u are just the lousiest among all ur friends and u have nth to be happy about. as for the candy matter, u feel that it really is unfair and it really is very upsetting that she is actually gonna come into the same sch and same cca as u again. u hate her to the core, because of who she is, the things she does and the way she treats ppl and acts like she is the biggest. u dont like to see her or hear her whine and be a stupid little bitch. so u were very happy when u finally thought u would be free of her when u graduated. but when u knew that she MAYBE would be coming into ny, u felt that shit was gonna come again, drama everyday in sch, drama in co, the shitty feeling comes, u wont enjoy co anymore and things would be as bad as when in cchms. u felt that co was gonna be a pain for u cuz u have to see her and tahan all her bullshit, and she would be sapping ppl away with her shitty attitude. u felt that it would just be a pain that u have to see her daily in sch and u have to face the awkwardness and unhappiness when she appeared. u just felt that no matter what u did, u couldnt get rid of her. u felt very sad because u maybe have to face the same shit again for 2 years. u wanted a brand new start after grad from cchms, but no, this wasnt gonna happen, so u just felt that the world is unfair and why does the person u hate so much have to come to torture u again. am i right? is this how u feel abt the two events?

all i want to do is to try to make u feel better for both things that have happened. its not that i dont understand how u feel, but i really want to come up with practical solutions to try to help u, that’s why i cant just keep agreeing with u. for the Os, i wanted u to feel better, really cuz i thought that it really wasnt due to u being lousy, it was in fact due to the fact that u were careless and it was a slipup. i wanted u to understand that it really doesnt determine how good or bad u are just thru Os, cuz Os really isnt everything in life. it is just a piece of paper for u to enter into jc, and u ardy got into jc, so i really wanted u to put that behind u, cuz u have the potential and ability, and u can really show it when u work hard and do well for the As. i really wanted u to understand this, thats why i kept telling u all of this. i really know how u feel but i think this is my solution for u. if u want to rant abt the Os results, i can gladly let u rant, but i am offering this idea to u cuz i want to show u that i can also give u solutions to make u feel better too. as for the candy matter, i kept asking why, and i kept saying it really is okay cuz u have friends in ny too, and u shdnt let her affect u, cuz i really wanted u to see that it really isnt worth it to let one girl affect ur whole future. u hate her, so she shouldnt be the one determining where u are supposed to go. why do u have to move away when she is coming to ny? she is the one who shd be moving away, not u. candy is undeniably the most irritating and obnoxious bitch i have met in my 17+ years of life, and i totally agree with u abt the hate for her. but, i also want u to understand that if u let her affect u so much until u have to change schools cuz of her, then u are letting her win over u in this battle. u are letting her get her way and u are making compromises and making urself suffer FOR HER SAKE. that is why i dont want u to change schools. there is no need to change also cuz everything is ardy great in ny. of course, it isnt confirmed yet that she is coming into ny, so u really dont have to feel this way one. even if she is, u shd not have to change sch cuz of her. just make her invisible in ur world, ignore her, cut off all contact with her. just treat it that she is not there when u see her, just treat her like she is a piece of shit in ur way. as u said, i shd not act like i am guilty when it comes to yimei or candy, so i am telling u the same too. u dont have to act like u owe them anything, u dont have to make compromises for them. just ignore candy. by changing schools, u will be letting candy win, u know that? u dont even have to talk to her or tahan her shit, u can simply walk away, distract urself by playing with ur phone, talking to ur friends, playing ur instrument, etc. when she whines, just walk away from her and let her carry on being a bitch. u dont have to even listen to her, just dont pay any attention at all to her. really, it is OUR sch, we dont have to give it up for a bitch. i will be with u for the first year, and in the second year u can rant to me anytime u want, i promise i will be all ears for u. we can really go thru this shit tgt, its only ONE girl. surely we are better than this? we dont have to run away from her right? just treat her like she isnt there and poof our problems are gone. let her whine all she wants, if we want, we can just talk or listen to music with earphones. ignore her. we can win this what.

i really dont get why u think that i dont understand u. i really am just trying to give u solutions, if u want to rant and dw me to say anything, i will do that too.

Freedom.

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Yes, thats what bb can enjoy now πŸ™‚ she has survived the whole Os journey and now the results are out too so no more fear and worrying ardy right πŸ˜€ congrats bb for achieving what u have achieved, to be able to improve by leaps and bounds, to be able to defy logic and get ur L1R5 to go down by 17 since prelim1, and lastly, to be able to have gave it ur best shot and have left no regrets! πŸ™‚ u really have done vvv well in my eyes cuz u actually put in 101% effort since prelim 1 and there, u see the major improvement so im proud of u really! πŸ™‚ ur next target will be the As, and this is a journey i will also walk u thru! πŸ™‚ i always have only believed in 1 thing and thats to give it ur best and leave no regrets, results dont matter, and i will still tell u the same thing for ur As journey! πŸ™‚ so yea, congrats on the achievement bb, u have done urself proud really! πŸ™‚ welcome to ny!!! πŸ˜€

To add on to my prev post, i just wanna say that all the times we’ve argued were all cuz either i was worried and made u upset, or cuz i forced u to tell me how u feel, or cuz of wj. Nth else has made us argue before.

U know those arguments that came from me being worried were all cuz idk how to protect u but let u be happy also…

Those times when i forced u to tell me how u feel were cuz i didnt understand u at that time and i just felt that if i didnt make u tell me, i wont be able to solve the prob and u would be carrying the burden and sadness urself so i wanted u to tell me so i could share ur burden…. But now i know u much better and i know u find it hard to tell me, so i really have stopped forcing u to tell me alot ardy… I really just wanted to solve probs thats why i forced u last time, i really didnt wanna make u feel suffocated one….

As for the times we’ve quarrelled over wj, i know its all my fault. I admit that this is me being selfish. I really try hard to not be selfish by the rules that we’ve talked abt and stuff lor cuz yea if i wanna be fully selfish i could have just forced u to cut off contact with him like many many many of my guy friends do to their gf lor… I try hard not to be selfish but i really just dont trust him and i dont like it that a guy is trying to get close to u and im not doing anything abt it lor…. I really just feel uncomfortable with his presence thats why i always react that way…. U know the insecurities and discomfort that i feel when he comes into the picture… Thats why i have always said im okay with u talking to him and going out with him, but NOT TOO MUCH… Once per year meetup is really okay, and i guess u’re okay with it too. As for the talking to him part, i really dont mind it that much one lor just that yea i find it uncomfortable if he keeps trying to get close to u and talk to u so much lor…. I believe its normal lah every bf who cares abt his rs also will feel that way one mah right…. So this one i really know its my fault but yea i really think its normal to feel this way thats why i wanted to impose the once per year thing. The talking to him part i also nvr set any rules i just told u to not talk to him that much…. I Know u treat him like an older bro only and u wont like him back but yea i really dont trust him lor i think he really isnt that nice and he’s trying to get close to u lor so i really wanna stop him from trying to hit on my gf….

So yea, now i’ve really said all the reasons why we’ve argued before cuz of these 3 reasons, and i really hope u see that i really dont wanna be like that but….. Ya i am trying to change…. Hopefully u can see that these things that we’ve been arguing abt all are because of certain reasons lor and also that other than these, we’ve always been happy tgt…. I really really really hope that we can be happy tgt again and u wont feel like u wanna be single after u understand how all our unhappy times came abt… I really wanna stop the unhappiness, trust me…. I sincerely want us to be able to find solutions to all 3 probs so we can be happy again lor cuz yea, these 3 reasons are the only reasons that make all the unhappy times come…